Not So Usual: I Don't Cry Over This Milk... I SCREAM... in terror... and disgust

I bought a few things for our trip yesterday! ...and may have started packing as well. hehe! 8 DAYS! I have ALSO printed a dozen maps and I wrote out a 3 page detailed plan of how to get EVERYWHERE. I am FREAKING out. BERZERKO! How do people find their way without GOOGLE MAPS????... AHHHHHH!! We will be lost without our iPhones :(

But, we will be prepared for the worst. One of the items that I bought yesterday is a 3 pack of cute, tiny toilet paper rolls. You are laughing. Justin laughed too. But I do not want to relive that day in Paris...

"Mom, there is not a single square of toilet paper in this (McDonald's) bathroom."

"Well, go ask the cashier for some napkins."

"Okay."

Not my proudest moment.

Which reminds me. RILEY, I am disappointed in you!! The toilet paper in your bathroom was going the wrong way.

The rain, the rain
Rain came down in sheets that night
~Melody Gardot

I like to hear the rain, and I like to see the rain, but I don't like to feel the rain soggy and cold on the hems of my pants.

Justin found something slightly disturbing that will be number one on our "List of Things to Definitely NOT EVER Do in London:" http://www.gizmodo.com/5769169/you-can-buy-breast-milk-icecream-in-london-for-22-a-bowl

Why does such a thing even exist? I puked in my mouth. Just a little bit... then confused the puke for breast milk ice cream and threw up a little bit more.

Jam Enterprises called the library today. I got excited when I read the Caller ID.

What didn't happen (but should've) when I picked up the phone-

"Willard Library, this is Stephanie."

"Jes, dis is Jillian from zee Jam Enterprise. Here at zee Jam Enterprise, we specialize in berry jams, space jams, cram jams, toe jams, pajama jams, pickle jams, Jamaican jams, rock jams, pearl jams, and jams jams. As yous are zee numver 50 answering our calls today, you get free gift basket of our best jams. Congratulations."

"WOOHOOOOO!"

What did happen when I picked up the phone-

"Willard Library, this is Stephanie."

..........Long uncomfortable silence.........

"Sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

Dial tone.

NOT-SO-SERIOUS CONFESSIONS

When people call me by the wrong name, I am never quite sure how to react. I can't bring myself to say, "No, my name is Stephanie." The first time takes me off guard. Sometimes I'm not even sure if I even heard them properly. Then, every time after that it would be embarrassing for both of us if I mention it, because I didn't say anything the first time. And then they feel bad every time they see you and they never drop it. So... to avoid confrontation... I take on different identities.

A few of my other names and their personalities:

JENNIFER: twirls her hair and smacks her gum, like, whateva
BETHANY: snorts super loud every time she laughs and enjoys baking
BOB: doesn't mind making a fool of herself (This name I brought on myself. In 7th grade I was on a softball team with another girl named Stephanie. To avoid confusion, I offered to be called Bob... drawing back on mine and Sabrina Lazzarini's 5th grade sketches that we called: The Bob and Bill Show. I then started writing Bob on my school assignments. By the end of 8th grade even my teachers were calling me Bob).

The middle-aged man who calls me Jennifer... he kinda creeps me out. One time he told me I was gorgeous young lady and he fanned himself "Lord help me!" I try not to make eye contact with him anymore. Give me strength, oh Oprah.

LOOK AT THESE SHOES: