Book Bands

I have a bone to pick with the makers of the little educational work booklets that you can buy at Walmart and Staples.  But first...

WHY DO WE SAY THAT?

(my guess, followed by the actual meaning/derivation of a word/idiom. fer real.)

IDIOM: bone to pick

STEPH'S DEF: This phrase was initially coined when two mountaineers were ascending the icy slopes of the Himalayas.  One of them got angry because the other dude BEGGED to go first and he was now going really slowly and kicking snow in his friend's face and annoying stuff like that... so Richard (the guy getting angry) stabs his ice pick into Gunther(the annoying one)'s leg and Gunther is like, "OW! Your pick penetrated the 5 sublayers of my epidermis!  I think you hit bone!"  And Richard is all, "Well, I got a bone to pick with you, Mister!"

ACTUAL DEFINITON: is lame.  I was way off.  According to my unextinsive google search, the phrase apparently orginated in the 16th century and refers to how a dog will "pick" a bone clean... which correlates to an issue that will take much discussion to pacify.

Which brings me back to little educational work booklets.  WHY, oh why, do they only go to about a 5th grade level and stop??  I grew up sneaking these books into my mom's shopping cart and theeeeeen 6th grade hits and I am suddenly too old to learn?  Are they going to put an age limit on Chuckie Cheese as well?  I was not a happy camper.     

WHY DO WE SAY THAT?

(my guess, followed by the actual meaning/derivation of a word/idiom. fer real.)

IDIOM: happy camper

STEPH'S DEF: Richard and Gunther decide to stop for the night and Gunther finally gets the ice pick out of his leg.


"I'm such a cutie."



ACTUAL DEFINITION: NO WAY!  HAHAHA... If this source is at all reliable, the phrase "happy camper" came from an episode of 'Silver Spoons.' What's funny is I JUST checked that TV show out from the library because I found out that Jason Bateman was in it.

Look how adorable he is ---------------------------->

  

I can scan barcodes straight into my blog.  Just watch:

31492018762361 (Aristocats DVD..."That's pure O'Malley, baby.")

31492020933471 (Pig book)

31492020963320 (Awkward Family Photos... HILARIOUS book)

WOAH. WHAT?  CRAZY!  I just blew your mind, didn't I?  Well, the sad part of that story is sometimes I accidently scan barcodes into gmail chat... "Hey hot stuff, wha's happenin' 31492018762361... ooops."  

My brain doesn't know whether it is a boy or a girl.  I took a quiz online and this was the result:



0



WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?  But I am getting enough sleep, according to the FACE MEMORY TEST:



BAM!  ROCKED IT!

NOT-SO-SERIOUS CONFESSIONS:

I am the only person who forgets to "take your shoes off at the door" at my mom's house.  A serious crime.

SOTD

(Take your pick)

JOY DOUGLAS will now sing you a song.

Left a good job in Willard

Workin' for the library every night and day

And we can't float 

One single thing

So we're running out of room, but that's okay. 

Big branches keep on floating

Proud tubs keep on toting

There's no floatin' (floatin') floatin' (floatin')

Floatin' in the system.  

*applause*

Ladies and gentleman, up next we have...

MIKE CARROLL with Takin' Care of Dis Mess (the edited version)

You get up every morning from the alarm clock's warning
You Take Highway 160 to the City.
Open up the door and the safe is on the floor
All the tubs, AV carts how silly
So if you take your time.. you can make it out alive
And start doing deposit yeah baby.
So if you think your life's a mess just take a look at that desk
And dont forget to lock up at night.

And Ive been takin care of dis* mess..everyday
Takin' care of dis mess.. every way
I've been takin' care of dis mess.. its not fine
Takin' care of dis mess and working overtime

*referring to a room at the library that needs some serious cleaning

JENNY PALMER (with a lasso in hand)
Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'
Keep those book carts rollin'
Rawhide!


STEPH as Michael Jackson
We told them don't bring your food around here
Don't wanna see your candy, make it disappear
They're yelling vulgar words
Their words are quite clear
So beat it, just beat it


When you leave you better also take your bag
Don't wanna hear your back-talk, don't be a macho man
And how about you take some books, I'll give this book a scan
Just read it, please read it

Find these songs and MORE in our upcoming album No, We Still Do not Have Tax Forms But We Will Be Getting Them Soon by The Book Band.